My Fears

I'm not a writer. Nor do I possess the qualities of a writer. But Mama's Losin' It has a writers workshop every week and this week I decided to participate in hopes that I someone will offer me a free therapy session. So here I go...

My 10 Biggest Fears:

Before I got married and had kids I developed all these fears. Luckily I didn't share them with my husband cause he would've thought that I was coo coo. And now that I have kids the list grew by a bizillion. I could go on and on about my "after I had kids" fears so let me tell you about my single days fears that still haunt me today...

1. Ghosts...When I was about 12 a lady I babysat for always watched TBN. You know the Christian channel. Anyways, I was raised Buddhist and didn't really know much about Jesus and God. Well one day I was over at her house and she was watching her show, singing along and waving her hand in the air. Me being 12 not really knowing what to think and intrigued just watched the show with her. Then she proceeds to tell me that she saw Jesus in the audience. Apparently he was standing in the back. The way she described it was so convincing that it freaked me out. In my mind I'm thinking that she saw a ghost. So from then on I've been afraid of ghosts. I get most freaked when I'm in the shower. I'm afraid that when I wash my face and open my eyes that a ghost will be right there staring at me.

2. Flying... I hate, hate, hate to fly. But I love, love, love to go on vacations. It used to never be this way. I used to get excited about getting on an airplane and going somewhere. Not anymore. Now I dread it. I get anxiety attacks and once got a migraine from getting myself all in a frazzle. I used to be able to take a pill and pass out til landing but now that I have kids I need to be alert in case something happens. Which really really sucks. I hate take-offs. It means that I'm stuck on the plane for the next several hours. And turbulence freaks the living hell out of me. My heart always feels like it's going to pound out of my chest. I just hate everything about it. From take-off to landing to my husband falling asleep.

3. Natural Disasters...I have to admit, global warming has gotten the best of me. All this talk about more tornadoes and hurricanes are due to global warming. And since I'm a sucker I believe every bit of it. And everything that Al Gore had to say in his documentary. I used to never take notice of the fury that mother nature has. All I used to see was the beauty. Like the spring flowers blooming and the magnificent pacific northwest landscapes. All that consumes me now is when our "BIG 9.0" earthquake is going to come. And if we go to Hawaii next October will a tsunami hit us. And if we go to Texas to visit Steve's family will a tornado suck us in and spit us out. And will Mt. St. Helen's blow again! Every time I watch Deep Impact I always have to wonder if a comet will destroy earth!

4. Dying...I'm afraid of the unknown. Plus I need to be here to enjoy life and watch me kids grow and watch their kids grow.

5. Horror Films...Click Here

6. Being Alone...In my house especially at night. You would think that I would be at peace especially when my house is completely secure with an alarm system, 3 locks on every slider and sticks in the windows. Oh and all the lights on in the house! But nope I ain't! It all goes back to the horror films.

7. Clowns...You will never find me at a Ringling Brothers circus. However I'll see a Cirque Du Soleil show any day! Go figure. Clowns. Are. Scary. Everything from their make-up to their over sized red shoes. Apparently they are supposed to make us laugh but all that I can think of is Stephen King's movie "IT". Go watch it. You'll know exactly why they are scary.

8. Eery Noises...This one kind of goes hand and hand with ghosts and being alone. When I am alone I hear all sorts of things. Of course what pops in my head is did we build our house on top of a century old cemetery and are the spirits and ghosts pissed at us. Stupid I know. When I was growing up my sister and I had shared a room. Which was literally divided my duct tape. I was the super clean OCD one and she was the super messy leaving dirty dishes under the bed one. Anyways one night as we were laying in bed chatting away like girls do we heard someone pacing back and forth in the hall. So we called out to our parents who were downstairs watching TV. We kept hearing this person or thing pacing. And as we listened closer it sounded like they were walking on a hard wood floor with their shoes clanking on it. But we didn't have hard wood floors we had carpet. Of course we were to scared to move and just kept yelling for our parents until one of them finally came. We never knew where the noise came from.

9. Dolls...Click Here

10. War...I really hope Palin is keeping a close eye on Russia cause I really don't want them to invade us. Which my husband assures me that that isn't going to happen. This subject comes up a lot at home and is a newer fear. Being that Steve was in the military for a long while and both his dad and brother served I count on him to educate me on our military abilities and strengths. So when all the talk was happening about North Korea and them doing test runs on their nuclear weapons, I had to ask if they could reach us. Being that we live in Washington and live right near a nuclear submarine base seemed like a reasonable question. Of course Steve tells me that they can't reach us. So then I had to ask if China could reach us. And again he said no. But then tells me that if China was to attack us (which would never happen) that they would hit our nuclear submarine base. So guess what...I now want to move.