Happy Birthday 2 Ayla

December 20, 2006 our little miracle was born. My life was forever changed the second Ayla entered the world. I fell deeply in love with this teeny tiny 5 pound baby girl.

Ayla is truly our miracle baby. Before I found out I was pregnant, Steve and I tried for over a year to conceive. We finally went and saw a doctor and was told that our chances of getting pregnant on our own would be a miracle. We were told that our only chance of having a family would be by in vitro. So right away we started the process. And was it a process. Everything from giving myself shots in my stomach to Steve bruising my butt with needles to traveling a hour one way daily to the doctors to my hormones going from zero to 125 in .2 seconds was exhausting. But it was worth it. If it meant we were going to have a baby, it was worth every bit. The day came to do the implantation of the embryos and I was on cloud nine. This was it. I was going to be pregnant. They implanted 3 embryos which made me really nervous considering I could have triplets. But I put all my trust in them. I mean they are the professionals, right? Two weeks later I took a pregnancy test and my heart fell to the floor. I was not pregnant. All the excitement of having a baby vanished. I was left feeling like a failure. I was left heartbroken. I still had 2 embryos left that I had them freeze but I needed to wait a few months before attempting again.

After that Steve and I talked about adoption. We agreed that we would try in vitro one more time after the summer and if it didn't work we would adopt. I remember praying in the shower of all places to God. I told him that I would love and protect my child and that I would do everything in my power to provide the best life possible. I prayed for a baby. And I specifically prayed for a baby girl.

3 months later that prayer was answered. I remember coming home from a much needed R & R trip to Vegas and realized that my super duper fun friend Betty hadn't visited me at all that month. Instead she told me to buy a pregnancy test. Seriously? Was it possible? I was so reluctant to take the test. I didn't want to be disappointed again. But I did anyway. And...POSITIVE! This test is broken. Test #2...POSITIVE! One more wouldn't hurt...POSITIVE! I had a smile from ear to ear. I swear all my teeth were exposed. I started jumping up and down. I wanted to call everyone. But of course I had to tell Steve first. And wouldn't you know it, he was at work where I couldn't reach him until 4pm and it was 10am. I literally paced back and forth all day. I wanted to make this really special for Steve since he had no clue that I was even thinking I was pregnant. So I wrapped the tests in a box and when he got home I told him that I got him a little gift from my trip. He nearly dropped to the floor when he saw what was inside.

We conceived all on our own. No fertility drugs. No surgery.

About a month and a half later I started to spot and we went in for our first appointment. The doctor wanted to to an ultrasound and couldn't find anything. No heartbeat. No baby. Nothing. My heart burst into tears. I couldn't stomach the pain and the hurt. The doctor told us that he was 99 percent sure that I was losing this pregnancy and wanted to schedule a D&C. But something told us to get another ultrasound before following through with the doctor's recommendation. A week passed and I had another ultrasound done. As I'm lying there on the table the ultrasound tech is quietly doing her thing. Then Steve notices something on the monitor. It in fact was a heartbeat. I remember her heartbeat being 116 bpm. I was definitely pregnant. We were having a baby.

And now our baby is not a baby but a sensitive, playful, loving, intelligent 2 year old. Ayla is our little love bug. Every time she says 'shnuggle me' it melts our hearts. And when she counts to 35 and recites her alphabet and names colors and shapes in her sleep it makes us proud. And though she is obsessed with Dora and insists on watching her everyday we know that she loves us just the same.

Ayla, you are the shining star in our hearts and we love you so very very much. Happy 2nd Birthday our little princess.